I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
