oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
