He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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