So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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