So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize