My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
