hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
