Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
