Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Nicole vs. Life
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
