yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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