I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
