honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
