I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
