quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
