Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I did not marry a roomba.
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