she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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