I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
