He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
