his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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