I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
