I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
