How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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