I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
