And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
