I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
