careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
