wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
