I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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