like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
