FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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