I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
