I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
