Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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