Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
