Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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