if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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