So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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