Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
