Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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