shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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