Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
