she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
