i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
