What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
