READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
