I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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