We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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