Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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