Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
