since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
